I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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