I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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