those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
