She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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