If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
