You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
