fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
