how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
