Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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