You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
