Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
