god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Two words: nipple clamps
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