Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
