I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
