Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
