it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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