whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
