Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
