How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
