The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize