singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
