i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
