i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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