my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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