i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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