I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do vagina's smell?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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