butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
