He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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