so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
