she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
