oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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