ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
