i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
