It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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