well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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