Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
