yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
