So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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