Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
