nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
