So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize