How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
