i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
