He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize