goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
