He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think people are normalizing furries
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize