Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
