He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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