Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
