i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
