hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Pooping to opera.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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