what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
