dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
