1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
