So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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