How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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