watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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