# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
