He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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