Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
