she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He kissed a someone with a penis
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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