You just made me feel so damn special
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
