i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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