Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
