I CAN MOONWALK!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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