Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
