dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
