i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
