Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
