in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
They took my balls.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize