he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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