If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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