ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
