Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
