first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
