with your own penis?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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