she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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